Recently i seem to be haunted by ghosts from the past. Not real ghosts but memories of errors and near-misses, and let downs, and even people. (Facebook has a way of doing that)
Its not a problem, it just makes me reflective and melancholy. Which is not my favourite default position. I think i'm in a state ready to remember because i'm about to have a huge change in my life, which is that 1pm tomorrow my parents move out of the house i grew up in. Up until yesterday i thought i would feel nothing, as i've been so busy it hasn't bothered me, then yesterday i started feeling sad about it. It really is the end of an era. My mum has been living in that house for over 50 years. It was the only house i knew until my twenties. It is a monument to the perfections and imperfections of my family and the trials and tribulations they've undergone over the years. Its big black and white majesty with the drive that's like a round-about that's a test for any potential boyfriend of a daughter to reverse round. Its chilly, its creaky, its improvised and not digitalised and full of christmases and first days of school.
My parents don't throw things away easily. Not even plastic bags. We've only ever had 2 cars in our house, the blue volvo and the white volvo. We still have the white volvo. I cried when we sold the blue volvo GLY 639T.
I'm going to say goodbye to 169 tonight after work.
I like to embrace change, but i think it may cause a few tears.