Are you ready?

Are you ready?

23 days to go! Am I ready? The easy answer is no. But I’m getting there.
In my mind I had a plan. I always have a plan. I planned that before I left for Tibet I would have read all the Tibet-related books on my shelves and understood some of the Buddhist philosophy I’ve been trying to understand, or more believe than understand. Such as “The Tibetan book of living and dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche. Which I haven’t got through… yet. And I can’t say I totally ‘get’ yet.
“Learning to live is learning to let go”
I understand the concept. But I am wary of one line generalisations. But it’s a good one. But you have to first hold on to things in order to have something to let go of.
I think its all well and good basing things in the mind and knowing that everything you do and see is filtered through your mind, and that mind is capricious etc and essentially unreal… but I want action. I am a girl of action. This year I wanted to take action, get things done tick them off the list. Accomplish. DO… stuff.
It says at the beginning of “The Tibetan book of living and dying” that there are different types of laziness and procrastination… those that sit around doing nothing, and those that fill their days with things to do avoiding whats important. Buzzing with things and avoiding the issue. But surely its a good feeling, ticking things off the list - like starting physio, or sorting out old boxes of books... etc.
And too much sitting around thinking makes me sad.
Introspection makes me sad. Doing makes me happy. Maybe i'm never gonna be a Buddhist.
Maybe that's not a bad thing.
Am i ready?
In my mind this trip is a big deal on every level. Not just financial, but personal, spiritual, physical, mental - definitely mental.
I've been thinking i should prepare myself, prepare my mind, but either i'm avoiding it or procrastinating or both - cause i'm not getting through these books very quick and i still haven't finished my injections! Or my insurance!
And now i'm avoiding cracking on cause i'm writing a fucking blog!
I better go... or i'm gonna end up shouting at myself!!