The Road to Lhasa

The Pilgrim's progress: from this world to that which is yet to come: delivered under the similtude of a dream

The Dalai Lama often states in his books that its best to stay with the religion of your parents if you can. For me, even as a confirmed and baptised Christian, Christianity hasn't been an option since i was 13.
At one point in my patchwork religious history, i used to go to a Hare Krisna temple.
My mother isn't Jewish, and i've never converted so that wasn't on the cards.
I work in death metal and heavy metal, so hatred of all religions and faiths is always an option. And i like Black metal, so Satanism is an option too.
Hell, i have a lot of options.
I've even taken part in a pagan naming ceremony on Stone Henge courtesy of my brother and sister in law, so i could go with the ancient tradition of the British or i could just ignore it all.
Truth is however, that i'm interested in it all, i'm fascinated by religion and rituals, and i've grown to think that a place where people have faith is a special place irrespective or religion.
I dont think people who have faith are weak or stupid, which is a common misconception here in the west. You dont have to blindly follow a religion to believe in better things...
But a pilgrimage doesnt mean i've chosen a religion to follow or i'm compliant in all teachings. Although in many ways i'm on a Buddhist path. After all Buddha taught that all his teachings should be questions anyway.
In religion and spirituality, a pilgrimage is a long journey or search of great moral significance.
Buddhism normally offers four sites of pilgrimage: the Buddha's birthplace at Lumbini, the site where he attained Enlightenment at Bodh Gaya, where he first preached at Sarnath, and where he achieved Parinirvana at Kusinagara.
None of these places were where i was aiming at althought we nearly ended up going to Lumbini when we thought our Tibetan visas wouldn't come though. I wanted to get to Tibet which was, and is for me a place of great moral significance.
So along the road to Lhasa, i saw what Tibet could have been when i saw Bhutan, i gave up meat (because it was also convinient) and i travelled by plane. So i guess the hardship wasn't at all great. I stayed in hotels, i didn't go it alone maybe this wasn't much of a pilgrimage?
But i had wanted to get to Tibet for so long, even my Mum had wanted to get to Tibet since she read 'Seven years in Tibet' - i had read books, watched films, been to teachings by the Dalai Lama, listened to monks tell stories about the occupation. I was certainly very interested, and i made it my goal to be in Lhasa for my 29th birthday, which i was - past the visa trouble, the tummy trouble, the dog trouble, the mortal coil trouble, the insurrection trouble, on the 9th October 2009 i woke up in Lhasa.
And when i went up to the roof of the hotel, look what i saw:

Tibet Headf**k

After flying over such beautiful landscape its a shock when you land in the pristine (still being finished) white tiled expanse that is Lasa airport. Situated in a valley surrounded by those velvety mountains i loved so much from above it leaves an impression, or a dent in the psyche of what's to come. Armed with Chinese soldiers, inspectors, H1N1 specialists, and passport inspectors together with their service rating machines on their passport desks (like the ones you get in service station toilets to rate the cleanliness of loos on the M1) - arriving in Tibet is just like... well, arriving in central China.
As i arrived in Tibet, i found out about Mike Alexander passing away, as my Blackberry started to work for the first time since i'd left Delhi. Another illustration of the technology that courses through Tibet courtesy of China Mobile, and a very sad beginning to my time in a land that was once inaccessible and forbidden.
Everywhere we travelled there were different measures to combat H1N1 Swine flu. In Tibet you walk through a metal doorway, stand on the footprints and get your temperature measured whilst being surveyed by Chinese uniform guards. None of the people that work in Lasa airport are Tibetan, at least they don't look it, and i would think you can number the amount of Tibetans in the Chinese army on one hand. However, this is where the head f**k bit starts, when you start thinking its been 60 years, and most of the employees of this airport in Chinese uniform were born in Tibet. Infact, the head f**k starts before the plane even lands with the 60th anniversary posters in the plane and the article in the China air magazine about the invasion sorry liberation of Tibet.
I knew that visiting Tibet was liable to be depressing. And from the point where i'd recieved an email containing horrific news on the China mobile network, to walking through the space ship airport with the monotone uniformed staff i really thought the culture that i had so longed to see have been mown down by the oppression of the model uniformed employees smiley face service button and the bathroom tiles of China.
I stayed in this sad mood all the way to Tsedang city which did nothing to raise my spirits as it was so f**king weird. (i apologise for all the swearing, but you gotta understand how strange this place was)
HUGE tiled (yes again with the tiling) buildings, office blocks, China post, China mobile, China billboards and EMPTY. The whole place seemed totally EMPTY!!
You come out of Lasa airport past a few barbie doll shops, avoiding the trench in the ground toilet, picking up a packet of crisps to munch on the way through straight into Tibetan countryside in the dry heat and farmers and Tibetans in the fields ploughing with cattle and yaks, and two story Tibetan houses with washed out prayer flags and the Chinese flag, and painted doorways into Robocop city. Empty Robocop city.
I can't tell you how strange it is. There's the odd Tibetan, complete with apron, and horse and cart, or tractor engine and buggy, and then the odd mercedes complete with Chinese business man, but mostly the place was empty. Apparently as it was the celebration of 60years since the Chinese invasion  liberation of Tibet (1949) most Chinese had gone back to China  sorry, we're already in China, i meant Beijing for the holidays. (To celebrate invading you go back home) Then we get to the hotel. Where i would guess apart from us there's 6 other people staying. And this place has 6 floors and looks like a tiled palace. Its all so weird, and i felt so tired and sad. I really didn't want to end up feeling angry, but in Tsedang city with the emptiness and the lack of good feeling anywhere, that first day in Tibet was very low.
Don't get me wrong i was excited to be in Tibet at all, and very lucky. What i hadn't mentioned before in my blog before was the total nightmare problem we had getting visas. We found out the night before at 9.20pm that we were leaving for Tibet for definate at 6am the next day. As Tibet was closed because of the Chinese celebration of the invasion  liberation of Tibet, they thought it wise to not let foreigners in, in case trouble started and there was someone to witness it. But believe me, with the amount of armed, uniformed personell in China Tibet, there was no way that our bunch of farming friends were going to be trouble. It was more likely to be me - but this isn't my homeland, and although i've seen all the dvds and read the books, and met monks like Palden Gyatso, i have never been willing to stand up for a cause without seeing things for myself and weighing up the balance of the situation. I decided not to write about the neon office blocks, and the tiled buildings and the emptiness straight away, because i didn't know who was reading it, and i hoped that the next day i would feel a lot brighter, after all i'd just heard about my friend Mike, so i was bound to feel blue.
I'd heard people say that the situation in Tibet isn't all bad, that the Chinese government have invested billions in the area, that there's clean water, a communications network, higher standard of living, schools etc.
When i heard them say this i leapt to the defense of the Tibetans because its easier sometimes to see things in black and white, but i dont think that helps anything. And the truth is this is a very complicated situation. Especially with the Chinese propaghanda machine on top of it all muddying the water (i'll give examples of this later) so that even some Tibetans dont know the reality anymore. Parents dont talk about what happened to their children because they're worried their children will get angry and then get in trouble. Children have to illegally leave the country and go to India to listen to accounts of the invasion liberation and then sneak back and try to continue to exist in an occupied liberated country.
And then whats more of a headf**k is the Chinese are rebuilding a lot of the temples they destroyed in the invasion liberation with Tibetan workers, but for tourists.
If you believe the films and accounts of Tibetans, then you'll know that religion - Buddhism, was and is central to Tibetan life. I've seen this with my own eyes, and i know it to be true. Whatever you think of religion, it is the Tibetans lifeblood, and when the atrocities occured in the monasterys and the buildings were destroyed and the monks and nuns tortured and imprisoned it must have caused unimaginable pain to the Tibetan population. But now the temples are being rebuilt. But for tourists. But they are being rebuilt, and in the traditional way. But for money from the Chinese and (other) foreign tourists. Or maybe for the happiness of the Tibetan population. I dont understand. Irrespective, the Tibetans that are still in Tibet i believe are glad that the temples are being rebuilt.
But there is a pervasive emptiness about the new temples, and i dont mean that they are literally empty like the big office buildings in Tsedang, i mean they feel empty, like the worship and centuries of care that had been destroyed cannot be rebuilt by breeze blocks and concrete in 10 years. Alot of the temples i visited on the first day in Tibet after arriving had been built in 1982. Year of the tourist. They looked and smelt like temples and even looked old, as it doesnt take long with butter lamps burning for colours to be dulled but it didn't feel quite right. I felt uneasy. I didn't understand why Tibetans would stay here when it felt so wrong. I didn't know who i could talk to about my questions because i knew that sometimes there are spies, and i didn't understand. I saw malicious intent in Chinese tourists visiting Tsedang temple the first temple built in Tibet (reconstructed) and where the Buddhist teachings landed when they apparently fell from the sky. I kept trying to understand. When you are inside the Tsedang temple you will see a throne of the Panchen Lama. The other highest ruler in Tibet, next to the Dalai Lama. The throne is empty of course, expect for the photo of the 10th Panchen Lama, and of the 2nd 11th Panchen Lama. (The 1st 11th Panchen Lama disappeared the day after he was chosen by the Dalai Lama 20 years ago and hasn't been seen since, the 11th Panchen Lama in the photo is the one the Chinese chose). I feel odd talking about these things as this isn't my country, and although i've learnt about them the English government has had has its errors. I protested against the Iraq war and they did it anyway, it wasn't in my name, i dissassociated myself from it. But the Iraqis will never know that. Hell it was the English government who partly started the whole problems with the Chinese in Tibet in the first place. But for some reason i feel very moved by Tibet, and very saddened by it, and now ive been to Tibet and i've looked and i've seen, and now i'm trying to work out what a headf**k it is.
The temples are filled with money, stuffed in the laps and in the frames of the different statues of the deities and kings in the temples. The money has Chairman Mao's head on it. Chairman Mao stares around from his papery financial disposition stuck to the silk of Tsongtsen Gampo's lap and i think he probably laughs.
Funnily enough however the Tibetans do too, cause they have such a smiley happy disposition generally as a people that my jaw is aching from grinning at Tibetans walking up the hills to the monasteries.
I still don't understand.
So i keep thinking about it, and i'm still thinking about it, and i will write more about it until i understand. All i can say is that for the first 24hours in Tibet it was a huge headfuck. Such conflicting strange feelings and contradictions that its hard to tell whats going on. Just when you think its all dark and gloomy you see light at the end of them tunnel. The situation isn't black and white. And not all these Chinese in uniform are to blame.
However, i didn't see one Tibetan in uniform, one Tibetan in a position of authority, one Tibetan talking happily without pressure or duress or neccisity to the Chinese. Most Tibetans i saw were doing manual labour, hardly any Tibetans i saw even round the Jokhang owned the shops there. But more on this later. My mind was so sandblasted by the first 24hours in Tibet, that...
I went bowling. The empty bowling lanes across the square from the hotel seemed a very fitting past time after such a weird day. The very sweet lady opened them up specially for us and i heroically lost a game. I went bowling in Tibet on our 2nd night in Tsedang. In my mind there seems something very wrong with that, but that's because of my preconcieved ideas of what Tibet was all about. Clearly the Chinese pre-1949 had none of the preconceptions i did, and consequentally none of the hangups or headf**ks since.
Well, some of the Chinese anyway.
(You see what i mean about Headfuck?)

Things left unsaid

So now i'm back in London after my adventures in 3 different countries on the other side of the globe. I'm extremely lucky to have had the chance to go to Tibet, Bhutan and Nepal - especially Tibet. Some of what i saw in Tibet i didn't blog about at the time as i didn't want to get anyone or myself into trouble whilst i was out there, and i do think that it would have been possible that communication from behind the Great firewall of China was read and could have led to difficulties - at Lasa airport the Chinese authorities/customs were confiscating travel books on Tibet and cds of prayers or anything that could have been "propaghanda" haahaha what a joke.

So i'll be blogging about what Tibet was actually like in the next few days, but its taking a while to assimulate all the information to give a proper fair opinion. I don't want to seem like i hate the Chinese, i really don't and i don't think that kind of reaction helps anyone at all.

Also, whilst i was away, after all that talk about jabs I GOT BITTEN BY A DOG. For real. Luckily it was the hotel dog at Dwarikas in Kathmandu. And it had had rabies shots, so i wasn't as risk from rabies.

BLOODY ALSATIAN! I like dogs too, but it came along and bit the back of my leg. Ugh! It gave me quite a shock, i haven't mentioned it before as i didn't want to worry my Mum whilst i was away. I was so lucky it had been vaccinated.

Priya - if you read this - do you remember that Alsatian chasing us through your garden when we were about 8 yrs old? This one didn't even chase me, i was only walking back from breakfast, i was still in PJ's, i didn't even say Hi to him. In retrospect however, i did have Catwoman PJ's so maybe that was why.

Another thing i haven't mentioned are the two very sad losses one Monday after another the 2 weeks i was away. Firstly my lovely friend Brian Redman, old bassist of 3 inches of blood,  who i'd only spoken to in Delhi died the next day in a moped accident, he deserves, and will get a blog of his own very soon. And then this last week Mike Alexander, bassist of Evile, died very suddenly in Sweden whilst on tour. I will write more about that soon too. I didn't write about either of their deaths whilst i was away as i couldn't bring myself to, and i didn't have the time i would have liked to give to them both when writing about them, which i do now i'm home.

Samye monastery

Its about 4pm here and we're driving along by the Bhramaputra river after coming back from the Samye monastery. I haven't been able to blog so far because I haven't been able to find the right words, but here we are after a fantastic day and I thought I would tell u about the perfect scenery and the wonderful monastery. If you look up Samye monastery I'm sure you'll find lots about its significance that I can't write here as a refuge and also as the oldest monastery in Tibet. A lot of the original building remains including a huge mural depicting Padmabhamsava (Guru Rinpoche) when he brought Buddhism to Tibet. To get to the monastery you have to cross the Bhramaputra on these little wooden boats with a dodgy petrol engine. When we arrived one of the skippers was emptying the water out of the boat with a pot. It was very encouraging. The river is quite shallow, full of sandbanks and currents. The skipper let me take the tiller and drive the boat most of the way there. We tried to race the other boat, and in the end we won (thanks to my wonderful navigation - honest! The skipper was on his mobile phone not paying the slightest bit of attention to me or the direction of the boat!)
Its very dry here, we woke to snow of the tops of the hills (mountains as they're higher than anything in Europe I can assure u). The ground is sandy dust which gets everywhere, some of this area looks like desert its so arid, there are patches of just sand. This morning it was quite chilly so I got to wear my warm jacket for the first time on this trip (thanks Mum!) And getting on that boat to cross to Samye was such a joy. After a bumpy shuttle the other side and saying bye to my new skipper friend we got to Samye in time to hear the monks chanting their prayers. I was totally transfixed. It was the first time I'd seen it in Tibet, and it is totally awesome.
I forgot to mention on my way in I bought a caddy of hot butter to top up the butter lamps on my way round the monastery. I love monks with big grins, and one of the monks let me past the cordon in front of the gold statue of Shakyamuni Buddha to top up the lamps there. Everything has an amazing smell in the temple. Some find the soot coming off the butter lamps a bit overwhelming but I love it all. We went to the room of 1000 Padmasanbava, then the room of 1000 Amitayus (Buddha of longevity) then up to the Tara temple at the top covered in 1000 of the 21 Tara but it was shut - the top levels were worst damaged. In another room there were a lot of old artefacts saved from destruction, and in yet another room a bed where HHDL slept with a 1000 year old painting of what Samye once looked like. After finishing off my canister of hot butter and chatting to some pilgrims including a Khampa man with 3 wives we went to have lunch (noodles and veg as don't fancy yak much and still going veggie) then I ran back to the temple to do a kora and spin all the prayer wheels.
We got the boat back and now we're heading off to Lhasa! Soon I will see the great Potala palace! Can't wait! Although everything here is sad and happy too. Wide roads, sign posts, "China life" "China mobile" "air china" ads along the a road. I guess ill stop now and write more later.

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Tibet - first impressions

This place is so strange at times I've been totally lost for words and then other times I think there's so much to write about that my mind might explode. Flying in to Tibet my heart leapt at the landscape below, yellow/green velvet arid mountains, deep blue lakes, brown/purple valleys untouched. On the ground however its a different story. I'm going to save my words for a later date but suffice to say, the Tibetan people are a credit to this beautiful land and my mind is working overtime to put this all in context.
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On my way to Tibet!

Tashi Delek!
I'm at Kathmandu airport once again, but this time on my way to Tibet! We heard at 9.20pm last night that we had the visas to go, and i'm beyond excited. Our flight leaves in 2 hours, i've had about 3 hours sleep as i went out on an adventure last night to find the Swede in Thamel with Tessa. We ended up in a bar called Tom and Jerry's and i think it was possibly one of the most hilarious few hours i've ever had. But anyway, the most important thing is that i'm on my way. I shall still reserve a 0.05% worry until i've actually landed in Tibet, but so far so good.

Do Kathmandu

I arrived back in crazy Kathmandu yesterday from peaceful and tranquil Bhutan. Druk air (The only airline that flys to Bhutan) is an experience in itself, and the flight across the Himalaya where you can see Everest is really something. Upon arrival in Kathmandu however all calm is dispelled with the traffic, people, and mish mash of colours, smells, dirt and bumpy roads. The amount of cars, mopeds, bikes, motorbikes, minivans with people hanging out the sides, bikes with 2 kids and mum and dad, all beeping and swerving is quite a blast when coming in from Paro. Its also a lot hotter here in Kathmandu than in the Kingdom of the Dragon. Anyway, we arrive at the airport and have our passports collected by Sunil our Nepali tour guide to sort the Tibet visa out. Then we head back to Dwarika's hotel to dump stuff and get sorted.
Dwarikas is the crazy posh hotel made with bits of old buildings in an Indiana Jones style.
We were due a "free afternoon" yesterday but decided to all go to Bhaktapur with a guide instead. Bhaktapur is a world heritage site and i'm very glad we had a guide, not only to explain but because the place is like a maze and it would have been easy to get lost. Everywhere here seems so full of bustle and people and colour. You have to dodge motobikes and bikes laden with bananas or unknown items in baskets on your way through the streets whilst also taking in the amazing carvings and architecture. The mixture of Hinduism and Buddhism is very interesting to me, and i bought an (expensive) book at the Peacock book shop that had been totally hand made and hand printed about Nepali Hinduism and Tibetan Buddhism.
There is a lot of dust everywhere, but some of the colourful dust in the temples is this Tika powder paint that's all over the statues. I'm trying to learn the different Hindu Gods and their manifestations. I've read the Mahabarata, and some of the Gita and i remember the stories of Rama and Sita and Hanuman, but it's all very confusing. Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva and all their manifestations... And the "spiritual consorts"... all covered in red powder and topped with bits of grass from the festival last week. Not to mention the animal blood you find in some places from where male animals have been offered as they represent demons. (They're eaten afterwards, its just their blood that's offered)
Last night we went out to Ramdoodles which is the place where all the trekkers go before going up Everest, and its covered in these big cardboard feet signed by different expeditions. I ate a tuna and sweetcorn pizza, which was a highlight, as i've been living off of rice and vegetables for quite a while now, and it was nice to have something i'm more used to (even though i don't actually eat pizza at home!)
On the subject of food, i should mention that there's not many people on my trip who haven't had some kind of dodgy tummy, and i am no exception. Although, it hasn't really been a hinderance so far, and i'm just taking it easy. I haven't eaten any meat really since i go here, as i'm hoping to do a Kora (have i spelt this right?) in Tibet, and i want to be "pure".
Talking of purity, i didn't finish telling you about Tiger's nest in Bhutan, It was truly magnificent, i think i mentioned that, and we took poneys half the way up, but from that point you have to get to the top of the mountain, its really quite steep, but a lot of it is steps and no problem. Along the way i saw a small lady coming out of this hole in the cliff, and i was informed that if you managed to get through the hole in the cave/cliff there you were absolved of all sin. As i have rather a hoard of sin, i thought i would try it, and i came through no problem (apart from Mum's hiking boots that got a bit stuck) I just kinda launched myself head first through this crack in the cliff from the cave behind. Peter (one of the chaps on this adventure, who used to be a banker) and i decided i should go into the cave again and pop out at the right time to scare all the rest of the slow-coach party on their way down the hill. Which i did, whilst doing my best tiger impression to shock and appaul. Win.
I should also mention the 16yr old monk i made friends with at Tigers Nest. I asked him if he was good at meditating and he said no. I said i was total crap and we had a laugh. He was very interested in London and my life. He's been a monk for 11yrs and posted at Tigers nest for 2months. He has to get up at 3am and he goes to bed at 6pm. I wish i could remember his name. Dammit. He was very sweet and when i left Tigers nest and was on the side of the mountain facing the monastery, he was outside waving at me.

Anyway, back to Kathmandu. Today we went to the Monkey temple (Swayambhunath) and Bodnath. Both of which are world heritage sites. There are really lots of monkeys at Swayambhunath, but i didn't spend a lot of time looking at the Stupa as i went into the Buddhist temple and lit a candle for poor Uncle Brain who passed away a week ago (who used to guest on my show and was the bassist in 3 inches of blood) and then i met a monk called Jigme who was interested to why i like Manjushri. I got nervous and couldn't explain why i thought Manjushri is so interesting (Manjushri, slayer of ignorance). Anyway, he sat me down and started teaching me, but then our group leader showed up and i had to go. Jigme has my email address, so i hope we'll stay in contact.
Bodnath is a bigger Stupa than Swayambhunath, and its where a lot of the Tibetan refugees live. There are a lot of Tibetan ladies and gents doing laps clockwise round the Stupa, and even some Tibetans doing full prostrations in front of the Buddha's all seeing eyes. I visited a Thangka painting school and got taught about singing bowls, and spun lots of prayer wheels, with good reason, and i need to go and find out if my lighting butter lamps and spinning prayer wheels worked now.
So i'll write again soon.