Crisis at Christmas

This Christmas is the first i have spent in central London ever. So the perfect time to try something i had been meaning to do for a long time (and i'm sure everyone says that) - and that's "help the homeless at Christmas". A bit of a cliche maybe, but for a long time i've felt that the music business is way too cynical and self obsessed with the narcissistic and frankly unnecessary bureaucracy and mechanisms that forget the human element - and for me, especially coming from a background of doing Youth work and working with Young Carers sometimes it all feels a bit empty.

So i can safely say that it was with totally selfish motives i signed up to work at Crisis at Christmas this year. I signed up for 3 days 23, 26 and 27 December. Unfortunately i had a chest infection after all the hedonism of recent weeks and so didn't go on the 23rd. But i ended up going in on the last day the 29th too - so 3 days it was. And i think if i hadn't missed the 23rd i probably wouldn't have been ready for Christmas at my house - you know they say charity begins at home, and also i don't think i would have made friends with my new buddy Tara.

Crisis:

"Crisis is the national charity for single homeless people. We are dedicated to ending homelessness by delivering life-changing services and campaigning for change"

http://www.crisis.org.uk/gallery.php/14/crisis-christmas-2009#/gallery-image-large/14/DSC_7233.jpg

Crisis says:

"Homelessness is an isolating and destructive experience and homeless people are some of the most vulnerable and socially excluded in our society.Homelessness is a problem throughout the UK, although it is more prevalent in urban centres, especially in London.Homelessness is about more than rooflessness. A home is not just a physical space, it also has a legal and social dimension. A home provides roots, identity, a sense of belonging and a place of emotional wellbeing. Homelessness is about the loss of these. Homelessness is costly to the individual, society and the state."

http://www.crisis.org.uk/

A crisis - a crucial or decisive point or situation; a turning point. An emotionally stressful event or traumatic change in a person's life. A point in a story or drama when a conflict reaches its highest tension and must be resolved.

Its actually quite relaxing to go and volunteer somewhere where Im not in charge and not responsible for what's going on. All i had to do was do the jobs allocated with a smile on my face, which mainly meant guarding entrances and exits and chatting. It was no trouble and not hard.

In fact, there were a lot of volunteers there - more than the "guests" at times it seemed. I chose the Hammersmith Day centre because it was closest to me, but in actual fact it occurred to me when faced with the reality that a Day centre is possibly the opposite of what's needed - a night centre would be better! But there was Crisis night centres too... just not the Hammersmith one - and to be honest, that i was before i understood a little bit more.

I'm a chatty person, if i wasn't i would have difficulty doing a radio show. So its natural for me to chat chat and make friends, and it doesn't bother me if they have a roof over their heads at night or not, its just a learning curve and maybe a way to spread some positivity.

I've been very lucky to travel a lot this year, and everywhere i go i like to try and understand. I think its normal to want to understand, and it was no different with "guests" at Crisis. I don't want to fall into the volunteer trap who's desperate for juicy stories of hardship, but of course as soon as i made friends its normal to want to know about each other, and wonder how this happened. I don't think anyone would choose to be on the streets. But from what i understand, the longer you are on the streets, the more difficult it is to get off them.

I suppose i should examine the terms i use, and people use to describe the homeless.

The Homeless... just that term - ideas of a huge advancing or stationary army with fingerless gloves? 

One of the Crisis guests and my new friends i'll call him "A" for the purposes of this blog told me that some of his friends call themselves Tramps. But he doesn't say he's a tramp, he says he's unfortunate. He's just had a run of bad luck and been unfortunate with the way things have turned out.

I say my new friends but it is very much a case of "us" and "them". You can't avoid the fact that there is a huge gulf between volunteers and guests. Us smarmy do-gooders and the people who are actually facing shit. Its easy really to take time out from University hols, office hols, Xmas hols to volunteer. I'm sure everyone volunteering was touched by the people they met and the things they saw. But the volunteers have the volunteer room that they go back to, and as we were reminded in the briefing everyday a fully stocked fridge to go home to.

"They" have no home.

Every time i hear "they" and "them" in situations like this alarm bells ring. "Otherness" is a concept which permeates thought in situations of divison and doesn't aid moving forward in communication.

But as we were told many times - "don't give out your phone number or personal details to guests, here at Crisis this week you have a safety net... outside in the big wide world you don't"

It's inevitable however much you don't want the chasm to exist between "guests" and "volunteers", that it stands large in the room like an elephant no one points out; its there and we all know it. Volunteers might feel guilty about their affluent lifestyle, guests may feel embarrassed. There's a whole minefield of potential faux-pas to trip you up.

However, the best thing to do is to go and be yourself and ignore that elephant as best you can, and in my opinion bring humour to the situation as much as possible.

Homeless in French "Sans Abri" - Without shelter. I suppose metaphorically and physically its true.

I remember watching a movie at University when studying the Nouveau vague or 80's cinema called "Sans toit ni loi" (without roof or law) which kept coming back to me this week. That film painted such a bleak horrid picture, with such a sense of hopelessness its hard not to think of it in terms of the people i've met and worry

There are a few "guests" that stand out to me who i had the pleasure of talking to a lot. And i can honestly say that i won't forget them. Firstly theres "J". A chap who Tara and I spoke to first of all. He appears now in retrospect slightly shady, but very well versed in politics and geography and economics. Mr. Commerce. 

He said he taught himself English from his 2 dictionaries he took with him when he left "The Soviet Union" English-Russian, and Russian-English. He sat with his 2 dictionaries in the library with a copy of Newsweek and TIME every day he said looking up words, and gradually learning to speak English.

He taught himself Dutch when he got to The Netherlands from sitting in a train station, and asking passengers waiting for their train to help him read a paragraph of the Dutch newspaper.

He taught himself French the same way.

He has a flat in The Netherlands he said and will go back there soon.

With a totally different temperament, and little to no interest in politics or commerce i suspect, unless to sell his paintings is "A"

*A has a broken arm cause some arseholes jumped on it whilst he was asleep in Covent Garden. They kicked him in the face too. He likes being tickled. He likes talking about his paintings. Someone told him that he has real talent. He likes talking about posh people and taking the piss. He likes just chitchatting. 

He sleeps rough every night. He smiles all the time (pretty much). He likes a bit of drama.

He kicked a bag of rubbish cause someone woke him up one morning too early. The bag of rubbish was full of bottles and he stubbed his toe. It still hurts.

The day i didn't go to Crisis, i wondered about him, and looked forward to seeing him again, just like *D

Here's my (bad) drawing of him:

What a sweetheart. First chatted about wrestling. Luckily because of Landphil i know a bit about it. *D likes the Undertaker

Especially his fight with Kane and when he came in on a bike.
*D loves the trains, that's where he sleeps at night. Trains or night buses.
He keeps himself to himself because he can't trust other people. Other homeless people steal his stuff he says. He has long fingernails that i looked at too much.
*D tells us he got into debt, owed too many people money, and can't face them now. I told him he should declare bankruptcy and sort it out. He said he thinks he's going to go and visit his parents  for New Year, but he's scared they're mad at him. I hope he can sort it out, i hope i told him the right thing - visit Citizens advice bureau!
He's a real sweet guy, so clearly aware of the dangers on the streets
Although According to *G of A+G it's not as bad as i might think it is, if you know what you're doing.
I didn't realise how shelters worked until speaking to *G. There's 30 places, in a different venue every night in West London. A+G have a map. And 30 people turn up at 8pm have food and can sleep indoors on the floor of a church/hall/community centre. There are normally 10 people waiting outside to see if someone doesn't turn up. If you don't turn up by 8pm you lose your place.
You get turfed out at 7am and then A+G make a coffee last a long time in Maccy D's. A tea in a greasy spoon. The boredom, G tells me is a killer.
G was doing a degree in philosophy when he faced a series of unfortunate events. I dont know the nature of these events i never asked. But whether its because he's ashamed of his position or its just his way or ashamed of what happened or of the big elephant in the room G doens't look me in the eye alot, even though we spend a long time chatting over a few days. I tell him that i am curious about people everywhere, that i love to travel and find out about new cultures, and that sometimes i wonder if being street-wise translates as a culture, and if he can afford to look at people with curiousity. He tells me he tries to stay positive and not to pigeon hole or stereotype. Tries not to say "this person did this to me, and this person and this person, and they're all from the same place so that place must be bad". He grew up in West London, and when i ask him about safety on the streets, and tell him about what happened to me in Buenos Aires, and how i've thought a lot about it and if you know your territory you're always less vulnerable than a new comer - he told me its not as bad as i think out there and started talking to me about homeless people not being all bad. I said i didn't mean homeless people being bad, i meant the guys tanked up coming out the pub at 11pm looking for a fight. He told me that was why he always makes it by 8pm to the shelter, because its safer indoors at night time.
Without giving me any details - i didn't ask for any, or want any - we talk about what a short slippery slope of unfortunate events it is to end up on the streets. I've decided its a lot closer possibility than most people think.
And it seems to me, that the main thing, the main barrier which protects you is family.
When the going gets tough, its rare to find someone in local councils who will go out of their way for you, days of queuing make no difference, especially to a single male on a housing list.
Thats where irrespective of the elephant in the room, volunteers at places like Crisis can help, because its not a question of queuing, its a question of volunteers doing what they can, and as opposed to worrying about the chasm inside the centre, its more about working on the chasm that exists outside the shelter, as i can see without some of "our reality" the "street reality" becomes further and further away from hope, and what is needed to get off the streets.


Crisis was well worth doing, i will hope to do it again next year, not just because it made me think, but because there's a good bunch of people both sides of that chasm, and its well worth keeping your eyes open and not being ignorant to it, especially at Christmas*


So, Crisis! Thanks for letting me be involved! And for making new friends
:-)


*see other post!

Winter Solstice, Seasons Greetings and Merry Christmas

December 21st 2009 was the Winter Solstice - the shortest day of 2009. When the earth's axial tilt is furthest away from the sun, and when "traditionally" in Great Britain we would celebrate Yuletide....

But what is tradition? How many years does it take to make a tradition? 

In 46 BC Julius Caesar established Dec 25th as the date of the Winter Solstice (now we know exactly what day is the shortest), since then the date has moved with varying calendars established by the church, and its strange to think, when we think about Christmas and the date of the solstice, that its not just the date of the pagan festivals that Christmas is celebrated on, but the existence of the date that is 25th December on the calendar which was dictated by the church.

I ask what makes a tradition - now its a tradition that Santa Claus wears red - and we've all heard that this was because Coca Cola dressed him in red - but Sinterklaas in dutch folklore wore red robes and Tomte, who started to deliver Xmas presents in the 1840's in Denmark wore a red cap. The urban legend that Santa Claus wore red because of Coca-Cola is not infact totally true apparently Santa Claus wore a variety of colours prior to the Coca-Cola campaign but our current depiction of Santa Claus is probably more thanks to this chap:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Nast

Anyway, what makes a tradition?

Here we are on the 25th December celebrating Christmas or Christ's Mass, the birth of the Messiah, Jesus Christ, the Christian God born as man from a virgin. But as we dont know his birth, and as all religions subsume other religious practises of the region that went before, Jesus was born on December 25th just as Coca-Cola is associated with Santa Claus.

Old festivals such as Jul/Yule are part of how we now celebrate Christmas - feasting, singing etc.

But I can't help but feel a bit fraudulent

A tradition doesn't have to date back centuries, but to someone who isn't Christian, its hard to tell what we're actually celebrating, don't get me wrong i'm grateful for a break. But i like to do it right.

Mean Geimhridh, Celtic Midwinter "The point of roughness" is when in Welsh mythology Rhiannon (The horse Godess) was supposed to give birth to Pyderi. Interestingly enough Pyderi (after disappearing) appeared outside some stables.

Mummer's Day - on Dec 26 - you could blacken your faces - Wren day on Dec 26th in Ireland - you could kill a wren and take it from house to house stopping for feasting

Alban Arthan - a Neodruidic English festival from 18thC gave gifts to the needy

Yule - from the Vikings and Germanic cultures began on the lunar midwinter and culminated on the arrivale of Juletid on midwinter. The Yule celebrations amalgamated alot of the traditions from all over Europe. A Yule log was burnt for Thor and feasting would continue as long as the log was burning (talk about heart burn).

Wiccan Yule, which i would love to explore more, is i suppose a neopagan amalgamation now. It is observed as one of the 8 solar holidays or Sabbat. Celebrated as the rebirth of the Great God and the newborn sun.

So here we have a load of festivals all together to basically try and give hope in the dark and cold time (i assume realistically the opposite should be celebrated in Australia!). A missing birth certificate of Yeshua of Nazareth (what would they put for the father anyway?), an adopted date of 25th December and some adopted rituals - yule log, holly, ivy, mistletoe, giving gifts - celebration in a Bacchian style, celebration in a Pagan style and now celebration in a commercial style. Its funny to think that in Early USA in Massachusetts Puritans band Christmas because it was too heathen.

Now we have an amalgam not only of Pagan, Christian, Celtic celebrations but also a mixture of stories from Dickens and films and all sorts that make Christmas what it is now. Not to mention adverts, commercial pressure and family pressure. (family love!)

Strange to think that commerical pressure now has the same effect on us that religion once did.

I like the idea of Alban Arthuan - the end of the month of the Elder tree, and the start of the month of the birch. The Elder and Birch stand at the entrance to Annwn the Celtic Underworld where all life was formed. What i would do with an Elder and a birch i dont know? Burn them like a yule log?

These things are what you make of them i suppose. In every sugary sickening Christmas movie they talk about "The spirit of Christmas". The spirit of Christmas  seems to me to be the spirit of many things and the spirit of none.

December 8th this year was Bodhi Day, or Rohatsu. (Beginning of every December) The day that celebrates Buddha's enlightenment under the Bodhi tree in 596 BCE. He sat under the Bodhi tree for 8 days and on the morning of the 8th day he realized that everyone suffers due to ignorance, and that ignorance can be overcome through the Eightfold path.

I don't know what ignorance at Christmas does but maybe on this day that most people have off work and that is relevant in so many paths, where familial and financial situations are highlighted it is important to remember those who are less fortunate to try to give hope for the future.

The Eightfold path is:

DivisionEightfold Path factorsAcquired factorsWisdom (Sanskrit: prajñā, Pāli: paññā)1. Right view9. Right knowledge2. Right intention10. Right liberationEthical conduct (Sanskrit: śīla, Pāli: sīla)3. Right speech
4. Right action
5. Right livelihood
Concentration (Sanskrit and Pāli: samādhi)6. Right effort
7. Right mindfulness
8. Right concentration

Bodhi Day is maybe the birth of Buddhism (although its origins were laid down way before), the day where Buddha suggested a way out from the endless cycle of birth, death and rebirth and became Enlightened

Strange that the way out that most of us are offered today is at the shops, and especially at Christmas.

Anyway, whatever and however you celebrate i hope you have a peaceful, hopeful and enjoyable time. With or without faith, but hopefully with feasting and maybe a Yule log.

And maybe you may enjoy SSS's witty Xmas ditty

http://rapidshare.com/files/321679834/SSS_-_Merry_ChristmaSSS.mp3

Bodhi tree in Bhutan, Sept 2009

Elder tree

and Birch tree

And a whole load of Holly

A month since the Himalayas

I assumed that when i returned from the Himalayas i would have time to think. To digest comfortably in my mind the wonderful things i'd seen like savouring a great chocolate and rasperry pudding. But oh no! Life doesn't stop so you can enjoy your memories... until you're old and can hardly remember them anymore!

I've pretty much written about the whole trip as much as i can without naming names of people it might jeopardise and without boring you to death too much i hope!

But i know there's a lot more to say and that eventually i'll think it all through.







I recieved this postcard in an email from that charming dog that bit me in Kathmandu. Nice to see he's thinking of me and survived to tell the tale (tail?)

I've stayed in contact with the people i met in Tibet, Bhutan and Kathmandu, and with all the people i went with. I believe one of them was responsible for this postcard above, and for these two videos below; which are loads better than the stuff i filmed!
So thanks Peter and Jill!

Tibet



Bhutan

My last morning in Tibet. Heading home.

I woke up really early desperate to make the most of my last few hours in Tibet only to find that the front doors to the hotel were locked and i couldn't get out!

I went up on the hotel roof and stood looking at the Potala in the dark:

We had to leave at 7.30am. I eventually made it out of the hotel at 6.45, put my hood up, hurried down the pre-dawn roads past the armed guards, past the Tibetan lady roadsweepers, past a couple of people on their way to or from the Jokhang, past the empty market stalls to the Jokhang itself. What a site before dawn. I wanted to do another "Kora" of the temple before i left; with all the Tibetans and without the hustle and bustle of the markets later on.

With my hood up i was so obviously a westerner as i didn't want to disturb people in their morning ritual i just wanted to breathe it in and enjoy my last few hours in Tibet. I kept my camera on video round my neck in the hopes that people may understand what the Jokhang is like in the morning, especially those who don't have the chance to get to Tibet, because of visas or because of exile. So apologies for this video being a bit ropey, but i didn't want it to be obvious that i was filming because it would have changed the dynamics of the situation, and also if i got seen by the troops i would have got in big trouble.

Note the sounds of the Tibetans doing full prostrations and the prayer wheels they spin and the silence of the Jokhang before the dawn.

I got back to the hotel in time for a quick cup of (green)tea before getting in the bus to the airport. I still can't believe it was over so quickly. We arrived back to the heat in Kathmandu, had a swim, went shopping in Thamel, ate a plate of chips, avoided the hotel dog, managed to pack everything up in one bag and then had a huge 6 course meal sitting on cushions on the floor with everyone from the group. Then before you know it it's Goodbye Himalayas i'm off back to London.

My birthday party in Lhasa, Tibet

October 9th, Roof of the world, Lhasa, Tibet
Thanks so much to all my group and my Tibetan friends for giving me such a great day!
Here's some photos:

My Tibetan dress (no apron cause i'm not married - boooo!)

My cake box!! Nong Nong!!

Look at my amazing cake! Holy shit! Yes!

And i got a crown!

And i got a singing flower candle!

And i got to eat it!!!! (not all to myself of course...)

My birthday outside the Potala... still wearing the crown, full of cake and at the top of the world!!

Thank you so much David and Mountain Kingdoms, all the Tibetan contingent (no names!), Tessa, Toni, Jayne, Peter, Jill, Ruth, Flea, Rob, Graham, Helene and David

p.s. yes you can still get very excited about birthday cake at 29 years old!

Afternoon Jokhang. (my birthday part 2)

I had been told that the Jokhang was and still is the beating heart of Tibet.

Pilgrims prostrate themselves in front of its squat square exterieur, Tibetans continuously do laps of the temple as a "kora" in a clockwise direction.

During its history its seen many Dalai Lamas, witnessed many festivals with butter sculptures and thousands of monks and pilgrims, and i'm sure as it does today seen many market stalls - But then unlike now it wasn't situated on a big tiled Chinese square. Complete with 60th anniversary celebratory flowers and 4 units of soldiers.

I first visited the Jokhang the night before. It was colder than i expected, and the square was lit by really orange street lamps, and populated by so many soldiers it was almost a scary experience. Its a shame the "heart" of Tibetans religious passion has to be so heavily armed. Apparently many Chinese walk in an anti-clockwise direction round the Jokhang to show irreverance, or just because they dont care. (I saw this many times) Apparently there are so many guards because there have been incidents where Kampas have attacked Chinese for their anti-clockwise behaviour. I would say the whole of Tibet seems heavily populated by armed guards, and the concentration of them seems directly related to how important the place is to the Tibetans.

As time goes on unfortunately my trip becomes more like a memory and less like real life.

So to return to the Jokhang the afternoon of my birthday, the sky still blue as forever i went with the other tourists inside the Jokhang. There are less pilgrims and prostrations during the day time than there is in the evening or the morning, as i guess people are at work. There were once again many Chinese parties of tourists. When you step inside you realise its like a courtyard within a courtyard. And a lot of it is being worked on. Or demolished and rebuilt.

The inner room is square with giant paintings on the walls and different buddhas housed in each room around the periphery. In one of the rooms is the statue that the Chinese Princess brought from China with her - this is particularly popular with the Chinese tourists.

In the outer courtyard the pickaxes are weilded on the roof of the building being altered. And on the rest of roof you get the most fantastic view.

I can imagine that the Jokhang was once teeming with monks. I dont know the exact numbers but at the Jokhang that afternoon there were only a handful of monks. One of them was very friendly in front of the big statue of Buddha and Padhmasambava in the inner temple. He was very smiley, but the atmosphere quickly changed as this young (maybe 20?) Chinese guy stood right next to him and listened and questioned everything he said to me. It was unreal how aggressive this guys whole stance was. I only wanted to ask the monk about Buddhism, i was well aware i shouldn't ask anything provocative, especially not with a guy like that listening in. I felt very sorry for the monks in the Jokhang, not only are they not allowed to wear normal robes anymore, and no only have their numbers dwindled from the thousands to under a hundred, but they are caged and spied on - its horrendous really. On my way out of the temple there was a door ajar on the right hand side and i peered in, and it was full of led lights and buttons and cctv equipment. Like a big panel you see in James Bond movies to trigger a nuclear explosion. Stuck in the Jokhang temple to spy on people. Charming.

I'm trying not to be hard on the Chinese and i understand the situation is so fraught and difficult. And i know its not all Chinese, i've said all that in my previous blogs, but it all comes across very much as if the temples and traditions of the Tibetans are only tolerated a) for tourism and b) to aid oppression
Anyway, back to my day!

The views from the roof of the Jokhang are really spectacular, and its where i saw the few monks that still inhabit the temple. They even posed for some photos with Chinese tourists.

The Jokhang is surrounded by market stalls and shops, and i was determined to get my sister a birthday present whilst in Lhasa.

"Lookey lookey" the ladies call out as you walk past. I dislike being the tourist in the market, and such an obvious target, but with Tess it was quite a lot of fun, and i soon saw myself parting with money for a load of bracelets for my friends and just as i was heading back to the hotel, a spent all the rest of my Yen on a necklace for my sister. I still have no idea if i got a good deal, but i had a lot of fun bargaining for it, and my sister likes it - here's the lady i bought it off - i met her whole family in the process!

I went into some of the shops surrounding the Jokhang thinking i would get my sister something there, but as you walk further into the shop, you see that they are clearly Chinese establishments and so i walked out. Again, and again.

So, Potala, Norbulingka, Jokhang and shopping on my birthday and next i had a "suprise" to get ready for in my traditional Tibetan costume.

Vice Heavy Metal Roadshow part 1

I'm only in this vbs.tv documentary ain't i!!



Thanks Iano! x